I think I read somewhere that once you decide to stay in one night because you’re ‘too tired’ it’s game over. Next thing you know, you’re cancelling plans with excuses like ‘oh sorry, just washed my sheets and i’m not gonna make it.” Netflix and bed is just so much more appealing than spending time on makeup, REAL clothes and shoving my paws into shoes that are just going to ache after I walk out the front door. Slippers and pyjamas are priority.
Now, throw kids in the mix. I swear I wake up every morning wishing I had plans to get out that night but once 5pm hits, I’m ready to throw my flannels on and call it a night. I 100% feel like a 87-year-old woman who would way rather make rice pudding for my other elderly friends and talk loudly over one another- whilst drinking peppermint tea, of course.
Someone recently told me that I have a boring and lame life and that I ought to ‘live a little’… which is a pretty valid statement. I literally don’t do anything except what feels like constantly cleaning the same room and nagging my kids to do the same chores over and over and over. I felt offended for a hot minute but then remembered that a few years ago, I prayed for a simple life. I wanted the phone calls to stop, the ‘excitement’ to end and wanted a sense of peace and calmness. By absolutely no means is my life peaceful and calming, as I have 5 kiddos who are constantly making the loudest noises known to mankind and causing tsunamis in every room they enter. This is a high-stress zone and my blood pressure will attest to that any time of any day. So, sure… we don’t get out much nor do we really do anything on Saturday nights except make dinner and throw a movie on Netflix. But dude, I am relishing in this non-committal relationship I have going on with the outside world because it’s just a phase. And my current phase is focusing on quiet and calm.
And that’s OK! We’re all allowed to take a breather from society because dude- have you been out there lately? There’s a lot. My life has been nothing but non-stop chaos for the past decade and my brain needs to slow down and do some re-wiring. I’m not in a space where I want to catch up with anyone until I do some soul-searching and feel ready to socialize. I’m in a weird place where I feel as though I’m about to embark on this huge breakthrough, yet I won’t attain that until I do some deep introspection. Does that make sense to anyone? Because honestly, I need the ‘quiet and calm’ to figure it out myself.
And this wasn’t always me. I had the house that held every pre and post party. I was never someone to decline an invitation to breakfast, lunch or dinner and was often planning out the next party. My life was entirely full of stimulation and I do put solid effort into birthday parties for my own kiddos, but I’m burning out. And I’m embracing the burn out and listening to my body. I deserve a minute (or two) to catch my breath and fill my cup again with a better energy and new motivation before I start my next chapter.
But today? I’m tired. So, no. I can’t come out because I’m busy watching the Bob Ross episode (you know, the one where he paints mountains and a stream with some trees) and resting. I’ll be back soon. 🙂