The kids are resisting me today. They resisted yesterday and the day before. I’m not their teacher, coach or basically anyone they really want to listen to. I’m their Mom. I’m that person who is there for them no matter what and they know I’ll be there for them at the end of the day, regardless of what behaviour they throw my way. Right now, they’re dancing to their own beat and if I leave them do something, they quickly abandon it and move on to something new. If it’s outdoor time, they’re running in and out and heading to their bedroom to do something else they’d prefer. If it’s quiet time, it doesn’t take more than 10 minutes for one to become distracted and run around the house in pure frustration.
And kids, I GET IT. I know you don’t know what to make of this situation, as it is crazy weird. You’re home all of a sudden and you’re missing your friends. You aren’t allowed to go to the park and you’re basically quarantined to a house. You have to wave at your friends from across the street if they walk by and I’m limiting your time on social media, making it harder to connect. I get it. I know you’re angry and I know you don’t really know what to do. I’m really not mad at you and even though I show frustration when you don’t listen, I know I would have done the exact same thing at your age. I also know we need to learn and establish our own set of rules that work for our family. And chances are, they’re going to look a lot different than anyone else’s.
As the mother here, I’m struggling with the resistance because I’m alone in this. I can’t call Dad up to give them a stern talking to or really tag anyone else in. Even though we live with my parents and they are a HUGE help, my entire household is still working from home. And they’re grandparents. It’s not their job to raise these kids and they should have the pleasures in life of just enjoying time with them. I gave them enough hell in my teenage years so the least I can do is leave the fun times with them. They need to relax and enjoy this. And obviously, I am super grateful for all the time they kick back with them and hang. Actually, it’s been really amazing to see their relationship flourish since all this started and even cooler to see my kids work with them with chores around the house…. finally. The home front has significantly improved as we are all learning how to work together. I absolutely love it!
However, I (like the rest of you) am trying to process how this is going to work. I’m struggling with 5 different schedules and 5 different kids who all have separate needs. I’m not sure how to be there for all of them, while working myself. I’ve started following a number of home-schoolers, un-schoolers, parents of many and single parents to try and see what tools they’re using to get through this. I have zero doubt that we will figure this out and persevere but honestly, if anyone can throw some advice my way in regards to having your kids actually LISTEN to you? I’m here for it.
We had a self-proclamed “snow day” yesterday and let me tell you, there was zero snow. We all just needed a day of calm and quiet, full of movies, reading and drawing. I jumped onto their school portals and quickly read through assignments and messages from their teachers. All seemed good and so far, I can still help with every subject, including math. Thank goodness. It’s going to take up the majority of our days for sure and I’m going to have to develop my own schedule that will likely start the 4:30am wake ups again, but I’m okay with that. I’m in the process of writing a children’s book and need to open some books for my own continuing education so my days are absolutely going to be full and hopefully productive. My eldest needs to navigate how to keep on top of her training and work effectively when she’s practicing and stretching at home. It’s no easy task to go from 20+ hours a week of dance to learning how practice self-discipline at home. We’re trying to figure that out and set good habits.
In this historical time, all of our roles are changing oh-so-slightly and I really am applauding everyone out there. This is just as hard for everyone, no matter your situation. I have a special place in my heart for the single parents out there who are truly doing this on their own. I’m not technically a widow but it’s a fair comparison as we have absolutely zero contact and haven’t had any for years. I take comfort in the fact that we’re all in this together and I really enjoy watching your social media stories of how you get through your day. Especially the struggles and tantrums… those are my jam. Keep ’em coming so I feel a bit more normal.
Okay, so the kids are sort of playing together and I feel like I can go and Lysol the crap out of the house right now so I’m gonna go do just that. I’m sure it’ll be time to make dinner after I’m done aaaaaaaand I’m going to attempt to make salt dough for some Easter decorations. Today’s a day where I’m just kinda meh and I need to keep the momentum moving forward. So, if anyone has any advice on how to navigate 5 kids schedules, send them my way. I know the importance of schedule and keeping it regimented but anything else… holla’.