I’ve been a little quiet on here lately because life has been jam-packed with insanity, both good and bad. I had to take a pause and embrace some quietness before my head spun like Medusa. I still have ZERO idea on this whole back-to-school disaster and I’m in a slight conundrum because I’ve got 3 kids who want to go back and 2 kids who are showing some serious apprehensions and I totally don’t blame them. Selfishly, I want to send them back because I need to get my life back on track and get this work DONE so I can bring in an income and blah blah blah. And I’m also super weary of tending to their 5 VERY different needs while they do their homeschool thang and I’m supposed to be working/studying as well. Ya’ see my problem here? I need a clone. Somebody get on that research and clone me. I’d be forever grateful.
I’m heading back into the workforce this week, as well. I’m happy to say that I have a number of projects on the go that WILL be lucrative in the future, but I need to get on this cheddar-train right now and start working my butt off. And I also need adult interaction in the worst way. I love my kids, I really do, and I find their conversation to be entertaining and amazing but my brain needs some stimulation here. So…yay. Back-to-work! …. in a pandemic…But I will fully embrace it and keep my eyes forward because our time is totally coming. But, with going back-to-work brings a touch more stress. September isn’t far away at all and the kids extra-curriculars are starting up and I’m only one person. I had been thinking about heading back into the workforce for a long time but it’s been tricky to navigate because of scheduling and needing to be in a few different places at once and ultimately relying on my parents. I mean, my parents are absolutely the most wonderful and helpful humans I know but it isn’t their job to be there as much as they are. They’re in a chapter of their lives when they’re meant to enjoy the kids dance competitions, hockey games, etc. But, I’m also in a chapter where I need to lean on them a bit more because as I stated above- I need a clone. Like, tomorrow.
I haven’t done the best job on staying organized through the summer, as it is summer and the slower pace is quite lovely but I’m beginning to realize that I could truly use an extra hand. My to-do list has been sitting there idly for the last few weeks and after a nice little chat with one of my greatest, she kindly reminded me to take things one at a time, whether it’s sending out an email or finally finish painting my boys room. Or put together that IKEA bed that’s been sitting in the garage for Lord knows how long. I’ve noticed that insomnia has crept into my life over the last month and the headaches are becoming a touch overwhelming- hello physical manifestation of Covid stress! It somewhat blows my mind that I wasn’t able to catch on to the actual stress load that I’m carrying. I always do my best to put a smile on my face (and break down in tears to the ones closest to me) and try not to complain because I am also very aware that life could be a hell of a lot worse and I’m grateful for the issues I have. BUT, I’m tired.
So, here I am. About to take on a job that physically takes me out of the house, as I complete a children’s book, start my dance teaching job, kickstart a company, study for my realtors licensing and raise my 5 kiddos. I MIGHT be semi-crazy and I know there are a lot of people out there just waiting for me to fail, but that’s fuelling my fire to step up. I do have 5 kids and I don’t receive financial, physical or emotional support from their father so this all falls onto my lap. When you want to build an empire, you need to put the work in and I’m ready to REALLY take that step now and I’m here to take all the small steps I need to get there in order to make this magic happen. And parents, I applaud you all for working (whether from home or out of the home) and extra love for taking a step into your next chapter, because it’s overwhelming and scary…. And worth it.